Sunday, January 22, 2012
Love: 2,000 Words on Something I Hate Writing About
So what is love? There are so many different definitions that fit love - positive, negative, apathetic. They all interpret the mysterious feeling and happening. I don't know how to define love... and it's not because I haven't felt it. It's just I don't think any definition is proper for love. I don't think any set of words can ever truly fit what it feels to love, to be loved, or to see love. To me, love is just... there. It's apparent in life. Sometimes we feel it when we shouldn't and sometimes we don't feel it when we should. Love cannot be dictated or forced and it sure as heck cannot be taken away by will. Love is untouchable, but it can be felt. Love is blind, but it can be seen. Love is just in the air for all to enjoy and for all to see. I don't know how else to find a concrete definition for love. Everyone has had their fair share of love, whether they are aware of it or not. Love is found in families... that's how children are made right? Love is found in kinships and friendships all around the world. Love is found in kindness. It's just there! A lot of people assume that love is the kind of feeling you see romantic films and the emotion written constantly by poets. It is true, love is found in relationships between two people who share commonalities, likes, dislikes, affection, etc. To define that kind of love is usually the hardest, so people use countless numbers of metaphors, symbols, and imagery to come up with a suitable definition... but none of them can ever be fully and completely true. Love is ineffable - at least to me it is. It would probably take me a novel and them some to truly make a definition that could match the magnitude of effect that love has on people. I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship full with endless, undying love. I don't know what it's like to truly believe that I can stay with a particular person for the rest of my life and believe that they think the same for me. I don't know what the feeling of true lucid happiness is... and it's not like I'm searching for it. I don't know, love is complex. And even though it's such a beautiful thing, I think love is truly wasted on the adolescents of today's society. High schoolers do not know how to treat love properly... if we did, we wouldn't have those awkward hallway walk-bys, or those silent lunch periods, or those nights where we cry because we think life treats us unfairly. High schoolers waste love... I don't like how they just waste it on meaningless relationships that last for days only. Wasted on relationships that were supposedly "real" and "true" that end up in hurtful fights filled with drama and immaturity. Love is a great thing, but is used so terribly by high schoolers that teenagers grow up thinking that love is a terrible thing, unless you are part of the rare group of people who are content with love that they eventually find. I turn left and right and describe everyone's love story and how it has affected them - how it has affected what they do in life. It's pathetic when put into logical sense, but realistically, our emotions have dictated us into a direction in which the adverse and positive effects of love dictate our lives. I'm one of those few teenagers who try to understand why love is present in our society - why it has so adversely affected me and the people around me. I have been affected by it and yes, it has affected what I've done with my life. Do I regret it? Extremely. Have I tried to do something about it? Absolutely. But in all of my efforts to try and find love or to try and keep it stable, I have never lost the logical senses I have grown up with and fine-tuned. The unfair ways I've been treated via love have got to mean something. The unfair ways that I've treated others via love has got to mean something for them. It all works out in the end, right? If it didn't, we wouldn't see these extremely great couples with really bad backgrounds or life experiences. Currently, I am trying to keep myself from despising love - from cursing it for ruining what is left of my sanity. I understand that it is a feeling that can be somewhat controlled (but not completely) but I've let it control my life for so long that I have convinced myself that it cannot be changed. Just recently, I had a revelation and decided that it cannot do tihs to me anymore. As we all know, changes in our habits takes time and effort, so I won't be able to do this over night. But I know that in time, I will be back on good terms with love and hopefully, thank it for what it's taught me. I don't know what else to write about love. I hear the people around me busily typing on their keyboards, trying to find a certain definition for what they think love is. I hear clacks and clicks... noises showing to me and everyone else that we all think of love differently and how it has affected us individually. I've always wondered one thing about love though... how can it be so bias sometimes? I mean, if others are able to feel love and understand it, why can't it be returned? If you loved someone with all of your heart, why can't that person just love you back? Love is a strong feeling and people can often understand/feel when they are being loved, but I don't know why our emotions won't let us act on things like that. Well, I know it's because of pheromones and evolution and our human nature to like and dislike certain things about people's appearances, idiosyncrasies, and that it is in our inherent human ways that what we like may not be what another person likes, but REALLY? If love was less complex and settled down for two-way feelings and no biases, wouldn't you think life would work itself out? I hate hate HATE how .... nah nevermind. I don't want to go into that. Uhm, when I think of love, I think of hearts and the color pink. I despise pink, so maybe that's why I'm somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of love. Whenever we talk about love or love poems in class, I can't help but want to gag and turn red all at the same time. Love embarrasses me just as much as it infuriates me. I have mixed feelings about love - oh the irony. I love it, but I hate it. It soothes me, yet it annoys me. It makes me want to hug a teddy bear, yet it makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. What does interest me, about love and everything, is how there is such a schism between girls and boys in respect to love. It might be a bit to general, and possibly sexist, but it seems to me that girls take love and romance a lot more seriously than guys. Of course there are the few exceptions for both sides, but it's just so interesting how one side can care so much while the other just sits back and watches. How can girls get so overworked with love - love is always on their minds, flooding all of their thoughts - while guys shoo it away with a flick of their fingers and continue doing their manly man things? It's just so interesting, yet so infuriating. Girls get so worked up about love - am I going to get married? Am I going to get a boyfriend? Gah, I'm going to die forever alone. I hate boys. I love boys. I want a boyfriend! I want to be single. I want everyone to love me so I have options. I want everyone to hate me so I can work for it. ASKDFJA, I wish I was prettier. I wish I was smarter. I wish I was more .... the list of complaints and worries can go on and on and on for day's. Guys? Well, it seems like guys just think about this: Dude, that chick is hot. I wanna get with her! Oooh basketball. She's great, but she's just not pretty enough. She just can't offer enough. Video games, distraction. You see what I'm saying? Boys/girls, don't hate me for my judgements. I'm entitled to an opinion and half of you might actually understand where I am coming from. It just seems that girls take love as a more serious, life or death matter whereas guys just have it available has "just another thing to do because it looks fun/pretty." See? Yeah. So guys, really, don't take this into offense. I did say that this was a broad stereotype and there are exceptions to the rule (there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules), so don't think that I think that ALL Guys are like that. I have met my fair share of caring, understanding boys who actually have really good hearts and base their judgments on the hearts rather than their.... eyes. :) Maybe that's a bias take on it, but that's what I think. That's what I think love is. It's a giant heart cycle that keeps going and going and going. Along the way, during circulation, love picks up some hopeless person and brings them to a soulmate... other times, love picks up some happy person and brings them to their doom.... I don't know what I'm saying anymore. NOW is definitely not the time for me to be talking about love or feelings or emotions or any relationships of the sort. In high school, the idea of WANTING a relationship is bad. However, let's not confuse that with wanting to be with a certain person DURING high school. One bases its center on a relationship in general, while the latter focuses on a certain PERSON. It shouldn't be bad to want someone... well, most of the time it shouldn't be bad. Sometimes it is, because it makes you feel horrible or it distracts you for what you really actually need to do in life. OH! Love is a distraction as well. I might be a nerd for saying this, but what the heck, everyone knows that I am a nerd, so here goes: Love can be a huge mistake if not taken of properly. How many times have we, in modern society via magazines, books, and movies, high schoolers and young adults waste their life away because of their beliefs on their individual foundations of love. I don't care if you think your love is endless and nothing matters as long as you are with each other - YOU NEED TO PAY YOUR BILLS AND NOURISH YOUR BELLIES. That's what dumbfounds me - sometimes love blinds people from the necessities of life. Really? You're going to live in a shack, not go to school, and waste your lives away JUST because you want to spend your love life together in complete harmony? Gag me and kill me now, so you can just PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY. Really, people need to get their heads out of the clouds and think for once. I know love is magical and everything, but it cannot substitute for what you really NEED. The food in your stomachs, the education to succeed, and the foundations of life itself cannot be distracted by love. So please, do us all a huge favor, get a job, find a house, get on with your life and be independent. You may love someone, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your entire well-being to nourish that love. Being independent is a great thing, but that doesn't mean you have to be single to do so. If that's the case, half of the world's population will be dead and/or dying of food starvation and would probably be illiterate.
at Sunday, January 22, 2012