Sunday, October 31, 2010

Death is Such an Easy Thing to Say...

I don't usually spend my time wondering where I'd die and how, but there are times when I catch myself thinking about it.  It's somewhat of a depressing thing to think about, in my opinion, so I tend to stray away from those types of thoughts.  But since I'm in Journalism and I have to write about death, I guess I have to think about it.

Where would I like to die?  I honestly couldn't give you a straight answer; I haven't been everywhere, experienced everything, nor contemplated where I want to die long enough. However, I'll tell you my number one choice (for now).

 I would like to die in Saipan, my hometown.  I grew up on  the rock, so I'm both emotionally and 'spiritually' connected to the island.  I couldn't imagine dying anywhere else nor being buried anywhere else.  If I died somewhere else, like in Spain or in South Africa, I wouldn't mind as much, but I'd better be buried in Saipan.  It's not my death's location that matters to me, but my burial site.  I find that to be much more important.  Saipan is my home and will continue to be my home, no matter how far away I am from it.  I know it's a bit cheesy, but your home is your home, you know?  You maintain an inseparable relationship with your home, no matter what.  No matter the ecological damage; no matter the political or economical damage; no matter the sociality damage.  Your home is your home.
So yeah, I don't care WHERE I die.  Whether it's in the state of Wisconsin or on the streets of Dubai, as long as my body ends up in Saipan, I don't care.

If you ask what I would be doing WHEN I die and why, I would reply:
"I don't know the specifics, but I would probably be involved in one those accidental deaths."

You know, those accidental deaths that happen and like 5-7 people are killed because of something stupid and tragic?  I'd probably die because of that. Like a motorcycle accident I was involved in when I was speeding to see my injured husband in an hospital (because you know, I'm going to be a very devoted wife in the future).  Or maybe possibly another "Titanic" situation, where a bunch of people die and it's all very depressing, tragic, but yet sentimental.  Something like that. I don't want my death to be 'subtle'; I want to be part of something tragic, so I can be somewhat remembered.  I might not be immortal, but my name might go down in history, you know? It could happen... it could.

  But you know, that's how I'd WANT to die... but it probably wouldn't happen that way.  I'd probably die of old age in my old folk's home in Florida or of a heart attack from being scared to death by a spider in my kitchen.  You know, a 'normal' way of dying.  I feel like I'm just using too colloquial of words when I talk about this, but death is death.  Instead of looking at a pessimistic thing pessimistically, why not look at it with a bright outlook? I don't know... something to make it seem alright.


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